I am writing to tell you that this relationship just isn’t working out for me, even though we’ve been together almost one year. I need to be happy and I’m just not happy anymore. When it all started, the sparks and super sexy attitude filled my eyes so much that I could not accept that you just did not complete me. And, I must confess, I have been seeing someone else. Yes, they are a little thicker around the middle, but they really fulfill all my needs. Plus, no offense, you’re smart, skinny super thin sexy, but you just lack the processing power I sometimes desire. Also, you are a little uptight, not enough ports and slots. And don’t get me started on the way you hide your battery and memory. I can see why you hide the memory part, it being so small and all. But your battery too? Finally, that hard drive…. so shallow and slow and scant on space. A bulimic supermodel, always a binge and purge of information and data just so you could fit into that thin aluminum shell. I know you’ll find someone who truly loves you for what you are, a white hot, super thin model of aesthetic perfection. They might even tolerate your diva like demands of a high price for low output. But me, I’m moving on. The new MacBook has all I need, even if a little bit heavier, I can live with the weight gain. So, goodbye Air, we’ll always have the memories.
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a laptop a paper thin slice. Take my advice and here’s what you do, get a fatter laptop to carry round with you.